Think Win-Win
iLEAD Schools embrace the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, from the best-selling book by Dr. Stephen R. Covey. The habits are simple and based upon principles that stand the test of time.
Habit 4 is the habit of mutual benefit. Embracing it requires a paradigm shift. Instead of looking at the world through a lens of scarcity, we use the more effective lens of plenty. Effective, long-term relationships require mutual respect and mutual benefit.
Thinking Win-Win means that we balance courage and consideration and build Win-Win systems, which result in faster solutions to problems, more team involvement, a generosity of spirit, and richer, more thoughtful relationships.
There are six paradigms of human interaction:
1. Win-Win: Cooperative, not competitive; seeks mutual benefit; communicates with more courage.
2. Win-Lose: This paradigm is the go-to script for most people. People with this paradigm think of themselves first and last; they want to “win” at all costs and have no concern for other people. They achieve success at the expense of others and are driven by comparison, competition, position, and power.
3. Lose-Win: “I always get stepped on.” While people who take this view are highly considerate of others, they tend to take the “lose” position at the expense of their own well-being and happiness. They lack the courage to act on their own beliefs and are easily intimidated. It is not a healthy outlook.
4. Lose-Lose is your typical passive-aggressive stance. “If I go down, you’re going down with me.” This is the behavior that fuels negativity and sucks the joy out of life. Interactions are stressful because they tend to envy and criticize others. They put everybody down, including themselves. These are sad people.
5. Win: This paradigm doesn’t seem unhealthy until it is closely examined. “As long as I get what I want, I don’t care if you win or lose.” While the “win” mentality doesn’t actively seek losing situations for others, they tend to think so independently in interdependent situations that they lack sensitivity and concern for other people. Relationships tend to suffer.
6. Win-Win or No Deal: This is the highest form of the win-win paradigm. If a win-win solution cannot be found, then they agree to disagree amicably. Each party is allowed to say no. It is the most realistic paradigm for the beginning of relationships, especially in business situations.
Thinking Win-Win allows for open communication that increases empowerment, delegates responsibilities, and aligns priorities. This is the paradigm of respect and consideration. Win-Win relies upon Habit 5, the habit of mutual understanding. It says, “In order to understand you, I must listen to you without making judgment, without advising, and with an open mind.”